Month: June 2023

Are you smashing your career goals but at a cost to your mental health? Are you putting all you can into your work and professional network and still needing more? And you’re wondering when you can find the time to catch up with the people who matter to you, let alone have the time for self-care?

Balancing your career and personal life whilst keeping yourself well is challenging!

Tips to help you build your career, maintain relationships, and keep yourself together

• Define your priorities – 

  What truly matters to you? Work, family, friends, health? All of these are important, so it’s helpful to consider how to proportion these to keep yourself well and happy. What are the things you do and the people you hang out with make you feel good? You cannot give 100% of yourself to all areas of your life all the time. When you’re thinking of your career goals, it helps to remember what matters to you to help you align between these and work.

• Establish boundaries –

  Boundaries are everything! Work out clear time boundaries around work, home, relaxation, social life, and hobbies. Burnout is real and happens when you don’t have these boundaries firm and let work seep into every area of your life.

• Practice time management –

  Time blocking and prioritising tasks by time and order of importance can be helpful. I set timers all the time – 20 minutes or so of concerted concentration gets a lot done! You could look up the Pomodoro technique, for example, which is really helpful if you have an ADHD brain. Apps such as Forest are great for this.  Multitasking is overrated – tackle one thing at a time; it makes it much easier to get tasks done.

• Foster communication and collaboration –

  Keep communication open with colleagues, managers, and loved ones. Let them know if you need help to get through. When you express your needs to others, they can help you find solutions or to accept the answers you’ve discovered for yourself. Delegate! Share tasks, not just at work but at home – asking for help is a strength.

• Prioritise self-care –

  Self-care can sometimes feel like another task but consider it by putting yourself on your to-do list. You cannot give your best self when you are wrung out and exhausted. Give yourself the time to exercise and get outside, to do your hobbies – do them because they make you feel good. I may not always feel like yoga, but I always enjoy it once it’s done. Make sure you take time to disconnect from tech often and regularly. Looking after yourself means being more productive while maintaining your mental health.

• Set realistic goals –

  Balancing long-term and short-term goals helps avoid burnout and maintains motivation. What do you want your life to look like in 5 years? Let yourself daydream about this and then work backwards. To help with shorter-term goals, at the end of your working day, set yourself three tasks you want to focus on for the next day.

• Seek support systems –

  Find others to see how they manage (or don’t manage!) their work-life balance. Networking isn’t just about work but about sharing experiences. Seek out mentors to help guide you professionally and personally.

Work-life balance is not a one size fits all concept. Work out what works best for you by reviewing how you’re doing – professionally and in yourself and your well-being. Remember that things change – being flexible and adapting to change is essential.

Are you ready to experience the benefits of single-session therapy? Find out more about an Empower Hour and book your session today!

Do you believe that, whatever you do for your children, it is never enough? Do you question every decision you make? Do you worry you’re letting your children down and not doing enough for them to thrive? You doubt your parenting, feel you are inadequate as a mother, and that you will never be good enough for your kids.

This is sometimes referred to as parental imposter syndrome. Just to clarify, this doesn’t mean it’s a diagnosable condition – it’s all too common!

What is imposter syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon that causes you to doubt your abilities, leaving you feeling like a fraud despite all the evidence of your skills and accomplishments. It affects your well-being and your confidence getting in the way of you being able to get on and parent your kids.

How does imposter syndrome show up for parents?

• You constantly compare yourself to other parents, feeling like you’re coming up short.
• You feel like you’re not doing a good enough job as a parent.
• You worry that you’re making mistakes and messing up your child’s chances of being well and happy.
• You feel like you’re faking it – it’s only a matter of time until people find out you don’t know what you’re doing.
• You avoid social situations where other parents will be because you worry they will judge you.
• You feel isolated and alone, the only parent struggling, and no one will understand your feelings.

First, knowing that you are not the only parent feeling like this is essential! It’s all too common. You might be feeling like you’re not hitting the mark, but that doesn’t mean that you are not being good enough. The media constantly bombards us with images of ‘perfect’ families and parents, and social media is not helping. Comparison to other parents can leave you feeling like you’re not doing well. When it comes to perfectionism, you don’t expect your children to be perfect, so why do you expect that you have to be perfect?

Stress can also add to feeling inadequate and doubting yourself. Being a parent can be very stressful, and it doesn’t get any easier when your kids hit the teen years. If you are not getting the support you need from the people around you, your partner, family or friends, it can also really impact your feelings that you’re not a good enough parent.

What can help with parental imposter syndrome?

• Remember that you are not alone in feeling like this. Parental imposter syndrome is widespread, and many parents feel the way you do – even ones you might not expect.
• Share your experiences – talking to someone you trust can help you to feel less alone. Finding out other parents are experiencing this helps to normalise how you’re feeling – it’s not just you – talking about it will help them and you.
• Challenge that negative voice in your head by focusing on your strengths as a parent. Notice when you’re getting it right! Even if it’s something small like your teen giving you an out-of-the-blue hug or kiss before they plug back into their phone.
• Try not to compare – it’s pointless! That’s the thing about comparing yourself to others, there’s always going to be someone doing better than you, and there’s always someone doing worse. What is important is how you are doing.
• Be kind to yourself – or if that feels like an impossible dream, how about being a bit less mean to yourself on occasion? Remember that your kids are looking to you and learning to look after themselves. Why not show them what self-compassion looks like?
• You will make mistakes. There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, remember? What counts is how you come back from mistakes. Acknowledge you got it wrong, apologise if necessary and then move on.

Finally, seek professional help if you’re struggling with imposter syndrome. I work with parents to help them understand and manage their feelings and to develop coping strategies. I will help you to see the parenting wood for the trees and help you recognise that you’re just the parent your child needs.

If you are struggling to cope with how your child is behaving and how that is making you feel, why not get in touch HERE to see how I can help?