Month: June 2024

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT): A Unique Approach to Parenting Challenges

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) is a unique approach to addressing parenting challenges. It is a short-term therapy typically consisting of six to eight 50-minute sessions. The time commitment can vary depending on the complexity and progress of your challenges. We will collaborate during each session to establish clear and achievable goals. You will be asked targeted questions to find solutions, and together, you will develop a plan to track your progress. The therapy involves shifting the focus from dwelling on problems to actively seeking solutions that can enhance family dynamics and relationships.

Key Elements of SFBT for Parenting:

1. Goal Setting Establishing clear and achievable goals or aims for the sessions is central to SFBT. For instance, you might set goals to improve communication between you and your teen, to minimise conflict, or to build a more positive and healthy parent-child relationship. By answering questions such as ‘What are some of the positive aspects of your current relationship with your teen?’ or ‘What strategies have you tried in the past that have worked? ‘, you can gain new perspectives, generate creative ideas, and identify actionable steps.
2. Present and Future Focus: While the family you grew up in and your teen experiences are relevant, SFBT concentrates on the present and looks to the future rather than digging deep into past issues. This forward-thinking approach empowers you to visualise and work towards positive outcomes, recognising and amplifying your strengths and resources. By highlighting and reminding you of these strengths in sessions, you gain the confidence and resilience to tackle challenges, making you feel more in control and confident in your parenting journey.

Real-Life Example: Improving Communication with a Teen

For instance, if you’re experiencing difficulties communicating with your teenager, leading to frequent arguments and a growing sense of distance, we can work together to address this. During our sessions, we will:

– Establish clear objectives.

– Identify strengths and available resources.

– Ask targeted questions to focus on finding solutions.

– Develop a plan and track your progress.

Our collaborative efforts will help you determine your strengths, recognise interactions that are positive, and create a plan for engaging in active listening and having non-confrontational conversations with your teenager. Subsequent sessions will involve assessing progress and celebrating small victories.

Benefits of SFBT for Parents:

Collaborative and Client-Led: SFBT strongly emphasises the partnership between the therapist and the client. As your therapist, I guide the process by asking questions and providing support, but this doesn’t mean you are a passive recipient of solutions. You are an active participant in problem-solving and decision-making, leading to greater ownership and empowerment. I am here to support and guide you, but the solutions and progress come from you and your family.

Quick and Effective: It works! Focusing on practical solutions and working with your strengths, SFBT can produce positive results relatively quickly, making it especially appealing to busy parents like you. This gives you hope and reassurance that positive change is within reach.

Adaptability: SFBT is not a one-size-fits-all approach. It’s highly adaptable and can be tailored to address a wide range of parenting challenges, from communication issues and boundary-setting to navigating transitions and nurturing resilience in children and teens. This adaptability ensures that your unique parenting challenges can be effectively addressed, making you feel understood and catered to.

Celebrating Progress: Throughout the therapeutic process, SFBT strongly emphasises celebrating even small victories and progress toward goals. This emphasis on recognising and reinforcing positive change is not just a feel-good exercise. It’s a powerful motivator that can help you stay on track and contribute to ongoing success.

Continued Growth and Learning: SFBT encourages a mindset of continuous growth and learning for both you and your children. By promoting resilience and equipping you with practical skills and strategies, SFBT helps you navigate the ever-changing parenting landscape. It’s not just about solving the challenges you’re facing now. It’s about building the skills and resilience to face future challenges confidently.

SOLUTION-FOCUSED BRIEF THERAPY (SFBT) provides an active and practical approach to addressing parenting challenges. By focusing on the present and future, leveraging strengths, and collaborating with your therapist, SFBT can create significant and lasting improvements in family dynamics. However, it’s important to note that, like any therapy, there may be potential risks or challenges. These can include the need for active participation and commitment, potential discomfort as challenging issues are confronted, or additional sessions if goals are not met within the initial timeframe.

Whether it’s communication issues, conflicts, or other parenting challenges, SFBT offers a structured and supportive method for positive change. The benefits of SFBT for parents are clear: it’s collaborative, client-led, quick, effective, adaptable, and promotes ongoing growth and learning.

Counselling can be a valuable resource if you’re struggling with parenting your teen or nearly teenage child. Don’t feel like you have to figure it out alone – I specialise in adolescent issues and am here to help. Get in touch to learn more about how we can work together.

Are you concerned that your teenager or pre-teen is overly attached to their smartphone? Do you find it hard to get more than one-word answers because they’re always looking at their screens? Adolescents and children can spend significant time on their phones, whether scrolling through social media, playing games, or chatting with friends. As a parent or carer, you may be worried about the impact of this behaviour on your child’s well-being, including their mood, concentration, and overall mental health.

With smartphones so common, managing your teen’s screen time can feel challenging. However, as a parent, you play a crucial role in this. According to Ofcom’s Children’s Media Literacy Report 2024, by the time they’re 11, nine out of ten kids own a mobile phone. This marks a significant change in how young people interact with technology, and it’s up to you to guide them.

While negative media coverage of children and young people online is prevalent, it’s important to remember that screen time and technology are not entirely negative. In fact, they can be beneficial for tweens and teens, who use their phones for various reasons, including schoolwork, playing games, and entertainment.

The positives of screentime

Some positive aspects of screentime for adolescents include:

1. Social Connection: Social media helps teens stay in touch with family and friends, especially those who live far away. It also offers online communities where teens can find support, share their interests, and build relationships with like-minded peers.
2. Creative Expression: Technology allows teens to explore and develop their creative talents. This includes photography, video editing, graphic design apps, and coding.
3. Skill Development: Multiplayer online games can help teens develop teamwork, communication, and problem-solving skills. Social media management can also teach digital marketing and networking skills.
4. Access to Diverse Perspectives: Social media, news apps, and online forums allow teens to engage with different perspectives, broadening their understanding of global issues and helping them develop empathy and tolerance (and couldn’t we all do with more of this?).
5. Empowerment and Advocacy: Technology can be used for social change. It can help raise awareness about social justice issues, organise events through social media, or participate in online activism.

Finding a balance

However, finding a balance between online and real life is essential and it’s wise to assess each situation and child individually.

So, how much is too much when it comes to your teen’s smartphone use?

Ask yourself:

• Are they physically healthy?
• Are they getting enough sleep?
• Are they keeping up with their hobbies and interests?
• Are they catching up with their friends (online or offline)?
• Are they doing ok at school?

It’s crucial for parents to play an active role in helping their teens find a healthy balance and sensible use of technology. Here are some strategies to manage your teen’s (and your own) screen time and tech:

1. Model healthy smartphone habits: Children learn from the habits of the adults around them, so to set clear boundaries, it’s best to establish these healthy habits for yourself first.
2. Implement screen-free zones for the whole family—no phones at the dinner table is a good baseline. No electronics in bedrooms after a specific time is another boundary well worth putting in place. For instance, you could set a tech cutoff time for the whole family at 9 p.m.
3. When establishing these guidelines, it is important to have an open conversation with your teenager. This approach is more likely to gain their acceptance and cooperation. Be ready to review these rules regularly, every few months, as devices and needs evolve. Schedule regular family dinners or social gatherings without smartphones to encourage face-to-face communication and meaningful connections with family and friends.
4. Add these to your family routines. Establishing clear rules for everyone, such as setting certain times as family time, can prevent arguments about social media use. This way, everyone can enjoy quality time together without any distractions.
5. Give them the chance to practice managing their screen time. There’s a balance between monitoring and trusting them to work it out. Having a sense of autonomy over their use will make it much more likely for them to stick to the family screen time rules. Encouraging them to think about the positives of maintaining a healthy balance helps.
6. Encourage your teen to maintain a balance between online and offline activities. Remind them to engage in the offline activities they enjoy, such as playing games with friends, having face-to-face social interactions, and pursuing creative hobbies.
7. Discussing important issues such as cyberbullying, online privacy, and digital footprints with your teen is crucial. This not only helps them become responsible digital citizens but also fosters a sense of open communication and trust.

You can help your teen use their smartphones safely, respectfully, and ethically by keeping communication open.

Do you have concerns about your teen’s smartphone or tech use? Are you worried about the impact this is having on their well-being? As a counsellor specialising in working with parents of tweens and teens, I’m here to help you navigate the challenges of the digital age and create healthy online habits. Contact me HERE today to find out more and schedule a session.