Month: June 2025

Has your adult child moved back home, leaving you wondering what this new ‘normal’ will look like? With rising housing costs and changing job markets, an increasing number of young adults in their mid-to-late 20s are returning to live with their parents. As this typically occurs after they’ve experienced a taste of independence, these individuals are sometimes known as the boomerang generation. This brings unexpected changes to family dynamics, especially when everyone is adjusting to new roles under the same roof again.

Why are young adults returning home?

Back in the day, the typical life trajectory followed a pattern of completing school, moving out for work or uni, getting married, and having kids. Maybe this is the route your life took. But this is no longer the norm. It is now quite common for young adults to return home and live with their parents for an extended period after finishing their full-time education. There are multiple reasons for this, such as finishing university, job changes or redundancy, facing mental health challenges or burnout and (I’m sure you don’t need me to remind you) the current cost of living crisis is putting a strain on everyone.  

A shift in roles and expectations is natural, given the change from parenting your child or teenager to sharing your space with an adult, which can cause tension. You’re no longer managing their life, but you are sharing a home, and it’s not unexpected to feel caught between wanting to help without hovering, leaving you feeling like you’re walking a tightrope. Plus, it’s all too easy for old habits to reappear on both sides. They no longer need you to set curfews, expect to know where they are or do their laundry.

Common sources of tension:

• Differing routines and standards (e.g. tidiness, noise, house guests)
• Financial contributions – should they pay rent or not?
• Independence vs. involvement – what’s respectful support vs. intrusion?
• Sibling dynamics (if other children are still at home)

Strategies for peaceful co-living

So, what are some practical strategies to make co-living more seamless?

• Initiate a conversation early: Have a discussion with your adult child as soon as possible. Work with them to set clear expectations together rather than just imposing rules.
• Agree on contributions: Be specific and clearly define who is responsible for household chores, financial contributions, meal planning and other shared responsibilities.
• Respect independence: They are adults now, with established lives and routines. Resist the urge to treat them in the same way you used to – they don’t need parenting any more.
• Communicate openly: Why not schedule regular check-ins to discuss what’s working as well as what’s not going so well? Don’t wait for issues to come up before addressing them.
• Set boundaries kindly: Everyone in the home should have clearly defined boundaries in place around their personal space, routines and privacy.

Looking After Yourself

Having an adult child move back home can bring a complex mix of emotions – connection, pride, frustration, and sometimes even grief for the space and freedom you once had. It’s a big transition, and it’s completely normal to find it challenging.

You might feel torn between wanting to support your child and needing to redefine your own role at home. It can also stir up old emotions or unexpected stress, especially as you all adjust to new routines, expectations, and ways of living together.

Give yourself the space and time you need to navigate this adjustment. If you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, you don’t have to manage it alone – talking to a friend, partner, or counsellor can really help.

Setting clear boundaries, sharing responsibilities, and checking in regularly can make a real difference to the atmosphere at home. And don’t forget to look after your own wellbeing in the process—this is a new chapter for you too. If you’d like some support to help you find clarity, feel more confident, and move forward with ease, I’d love to help. Please feel free to get in touch and schedule a booking check-in call here.

The pressure on teens to be ‘perfect’ is not new. They need to stand out, but not too much, to succeed in school, complete their homework, and participate in extracurricular activities, all while getting along with their peers, parents, and other adults around them. It also involves carrying a hidden weight that is hard for parents to spot. Whilst it’s not unusual for teens to want to excel academically, fit in with their peers, and feel good about how they present themselves, for some young people, the drive to succeed can easily tip into a more intense and unrelenting pressure to be perfect. 

Perfectionism in teens may manifest as a constant drive for better grades, maintaining an attractive and immaculate appearance on social media, or simply a desire to avoid disappointment. This kind of pressure is overwhelming, affecting everything from self-esteem to sleep, and, in some cases, can lead to anxiety or burnout.

What are some common signs that your teen might be struggling with perfectionism? Where is this pressure coming from, and – most importantly – what can you do to support them in finding balance, confidence, and being a bit kinder to themselves? 

Signs Your Teen Might Be Struggling with Perfectionism

• Fear of failure or intense reaction to even the smallest mistakes.
• Procrastination (how can I start when I know it’s not going to be perfect?).
• Spending excessive time and headspace on schoolwork or appearance.
• Constant self-criticism and low self-esteem.
• Mood swings, anxiety or issues with sleep.
• Constantly seeking reassurance and praise for every little thing.
• Withdrawing socially or from hobbies they once enjoyed.

Where the Pressure Comes From

• Many young people feel pressure from academic expectations, where failure is not an option and high grades must be achieved if they are to stand any chance of succeeding. Peer pressure involves another form of conformity, where individuals conform to fit in or to look or act in a certain way. This may sound familiar from your teenage experience, but it is now relentlessly amplified to the max by social media. Like it or not, your teenager is exposed to the constant comparison to curated lives and a culture of ‘likes’. 
• While you want only the best for your child, even unspoken parental expectations can feel heavy on young people. It’s worth considering the expectations you set for yourself as a parent. Your teen picks up on how you speak to yourself and respond to your own mistakes. The truth is no one is perfect, and, honestly, your kids don’t need you to be. They just need you to be present.

The Impact on Mental Health

There is a definite connection between perfectionism and mental health concerns, such as anxiety, depression and burnout. A constant feeling of never being good enough takes its toll, and for the developing brain, the impact of chronic stress is significant, let alone what it’s doing to your teen’s view of themselves. 

How Parents and Carers Can Help

Encourage open conversations about experiences and feelings so your teen feels comfortable sharing what’s happening in their life. When they express unhelpful thought patterns, such as berating themselves for receiving a ‘B’ on a test and calling themselves stupid, acknowledge their disappointment. Help them to recognise the effort they’ve put in and consider what they might do differently next time. Keep the focus on progress and effort rather than just the outcome to help them set realistic goals.

Final Thought

Perfectionism can quietly wear down teens, even when it stems from a genuine desire to excel. As a parent, your support, encouragement, and acceptance can make a huge difference.

If you’re worried your teen is under pressure or struggling to cope, you don’t have to work it out alone.

Get in touch to book an initial call session or find out how I can help.