Are you bored and fed up with constantly bickering with your partner? Have you forgotten the couple you were before you were parents? Is it time to assess your relationship with your partner and give it some much-needed attention? Maybe something is missing in the relationship that you cannot quite put your finger on but that you want to try to resolve. Counselling will help you understand your strengths as a couple and gain better insights into your relationship.
When we aren’t getting what we need from our relationships, we can lose track, not only of the relationship we thought we had but of who we are as individuals. When things aren't going well with the person you are closest to and most intimate with; there may be a loss of confidence which can spill over into other areas of your life.
Going to counselling together
Beginning any form of counselling can be pretty daunting and going in with your partner is potentially even more so. Counselling may not necessarily take your relationship to where you might expect, it could even lead to exploring the possibility of not being in a couple anymore.
Counselling can feel exposing and may be tricky if you are not used to this type of communication.
There may be feelings of rivalry over whose side the counsellor will take. It may help to keep in mind that the client, in this case, is not one individual or the other, but the relationship itself.
Counselling with your partner can be more rewarding than individual counselling.
The fact that you have both agreed to come along shows that you care about each other enough to come and put yourself in an intimate and potentially exposing situation, which may well lead to feelings of vulnerability.
Getting over the ‘hump’ of actually walking into the counselling room can be the hardest part. There is a feeling of optimism and hope in coming to counselling and in exploring your shared experiences.
What might be talked about in couple's counselling?
Whilst your perspective will be taken into account, the focus is always on the relationship itself.
- What was it that drew you together in the first place and what you would like the relationship to look like moving forwards?
- You were able to cooperate to build the relationship, to set up a home together and embark upon family life, so what other strengths do you already have in your relationship?
- You also coordinated to attend counselling together – what is it that brings you both to counselling now?
Couples counselling will help you understand your strengths as a couple and gain better insight into your relationship. Couples that go to counselling together should be proud of making that effort together.
Following sessions will explore each of your family backgrounds and a family tree or genogram. This will give a picture of any significant events and can show patterns, similarities and differences in the families you grew up in.
How seeing a counsellor with your partner can help
Counselling provides you with a caring, confidential, safe and supportive space to talk. It can help to speak with someone completely separate from your relationship. There will be some hard work but we will work together, collaboratively.
I will help you find the tools to
- be able to deal with conflict
- communicate more effectively
- have a more positive relationship, not only with the person you walked into the counselling session with but in all your relationships.
If you are struggling in your relationship, and are ready for change, contact me here.