If we don’t like what we see in the mirror and have a negative body image, we feel more self-conscious; impacting our confidence and relationships.
So how can you help your child love and accept the way they look and have a healthy, realistic body image?
What is body image?
It’s how and what you think and feel about your body and includes the image you have of your body in your mind.
Bodies change during adolescence and questioning who we are and where we fit in at this age is totally normal.
Tweens and teenagers are particularly vulnerable to issues around body image - think of all the changes that happen to our bodies due to puberty!
During puberty, our bodies go through a lot of changes over a relatively short amount of time. At the same time, fitting in with our friends and peers, not just in what we do but how we look becomes hugely important.
It is not just important to adolescents, it's part of their development - feeling that they're different and that they don't fit in can be a real struggle for them.
At what age do tweens and teens start to notice their body image?
The 2019 Girl Guiding Survey noted that children as young as seven years old had noticed that society values how you look more than for your character or achievement.
Social media has a real impact on all of us. Tweens and teenagers can be especially susceptible to an unrealistic perception of how they look and how they think they are supposed to look.
- Selfie culture – what looks good in a photo can look a bit unusual in reality
- The images they see on social media are often literally not real; they have been photoshopped and edited beyond all recognition
- Idealised looks have been manipulated and young people are still aspiring to look like that even though they know this is not realistic. People want to look like their filtered and edited photo but this isn't easy to achieve – not even through surgery
There are positive aspects of social media. There are plenty of body-positive people to follow, showing a side that we do not often see in mainstream media. Wouldn't it be nice if we could see more body 'neutrality'?
Focus on the whole person; not just how they look
Of course, your child is beautiful and perfect just as they are but it is no use telling them that and then complaining about your own body within earshot. The adult body is not a problem. There is no need to create fear around becoming an adult.
Children learn through repetition. If they are in a house where they hear people complaining about their bodies, they learn that this is the way to speak about themselves.
You don’t want your kids to not like the way they look so what are some things you can do?
- Encourage them to follow body positive (and body neutral) influences and help them make their social media feeds more diverse.
- Compliment behaviour and values over looks – ‘look how kind you can be’ ‘look how strong you are’ ‘look how hard you're working’
The number one best thing you can do is to learn to love your own body
Do you struggle with your body image? Are you constantly body shaming yourself? It’s almost taboo to be satisfied with how you look. Show yourself some self-compassion particularly in your appearance.
Be mindful of what you say about physical attributes and how you say it to young people
- Don’t complain about your own body in front of them
- Smile at yourself when you look in the mirror
- Learn how to accept a compliment
- Stop talking about naughty, bad or wrong food
- Appreciate the things our bodies do without us even thinking – breathing, digesting food
- Stop making comparisons to others
So much pressure is already put on young people – leading to high anxiety and other mental health issues. One of the easiest ways to channel your anxiety or stress or lack of control is through body image – it’s visible and tangible and there are practical steps that can be taken to change this which gives a sense of feeling in control. But this is the thinking that can soon spiral towards disordered eating.
The Perfect Storm of puberty and menopause
If there is someone in your home going through puberty, there is likely to be someone in your home going through perimenopause or menopause. Maybe that's you?!
Both of these stages involve physical and cognitive changes - an even better reason to show yourself some care and compassion!
If this sounds like you, why not get in touch and see how I can help.