It's an old trope, but the one of the teenager staying up all hours and being nearly impossible to wake up is not far from the reality for many parents. It can be frustrating when you're constantly battling your teen to get them up and out the door at a reasonable time. It's also true that this isn't about them being lazy; your tween or nearly teenage child needs their sleep more than ever due to the physical, psychological, and emotional demands of adolescence.
So, how can you balance your teen's sleep needs with their need to be up and out the door at a specific time so they're not late for school? Let's examine teenagers' sleep cycles and how you can create a morning routine that works without setting off fireworks and gets them up and ready for the day.
Why teens need more sleep
Your child's circadian rhythms (the 24-hour cycles of our body's internal clock) change during puberty. This change means they become more like night owls, falling asleep and waking up later. They also need more sleep at this stage – 8-10 hours. These factors together make achieving the early start time schools expect harder.
Also, if your child is in secondary school now, the lockdowns of the pandemic interrupted their primary school years. Remember to consider the impact these teen sleep problems and disruption will have on establishing a routine.
The benefit of a morning routine for teens
A schedule around sleep, keeping broadly the same time to get up and the same time going to bed at night, and a routine around bedtime and morning are helpful for all of us –particularly young people. It's tempting to have an extended sleep in over the weekend or holidays, but maintaining a consistent sleep schedule even during these times helps prevent 'social jet lag'; when the natural sleep rhythms don't match with the social demands of life, school or work, leading to irregular sleep patterns.
Tip: If a regular sleep schedule for your tween or teen feels like a distant dream, try encouraging them to gradually adjust their bedtime by 15-30 minutes each night.
Teen sleep solutions
Teens and school mornings are often a struggle and it's important to remember that the way the morning goes depends on how the evening before went. You can reduce the potential for upset and overwhelm in the morning by taking a few steps in the evening:
- Encourage them to get their school uniform ready for the morning the night before. This reduces options and decision-making over what to wear or searching for a clean pair of socks in the morning.
- Suggest techniques to help them wind down, such as reading (a book!), taking a shower, or listening to a relaxing playlist they've downloaded.
- Avoid caffeine or large meals before bedtime, as these can disrupt sleep.
- Create a sleep-friendly environment – a quiet, dark, cool bedroom promotes better sleep.
- Limit screen time to at least an hour before bed. Screen time and teen sleep are linked. Do not use phones, televisions, or electronics in the bedroom! This goes for you, too – they are not conducive to a good night's sleep.
- Set a positive example by demonstrating good sleep habits yourself. Teens often imitate their parents' behaviours, and it's much more challenging to have a meaningful conversation with your teenager when you're in bed scrolling through social media.
How to help teens wake up
- Involve your teen in creating a morning routine that includes their input and preferences. This is crucial. They are much more likely to stick with it if they have come up with the routine themselves. Tell them you've noticed the mornings can feel a little tense, and ask them what they think might help.
- Get them an alarm clock that requires physical movement to turn off – have it on the other side of the room if necessary. This helps them take responsibility and ownership over waking up – you don't need to be their alarm clock.
- Let the natural noises and light of morning in your home into their room. Take them a cup of tea (an excellent start to anyone's morning), and while you're there, leave their door open and open the curtains. Exposure to natural light in the morning helps to reset their internal clock, making it easier for them to wake up.
Communication is key
It could be that anxiety, stress, or other issues are impacting their sleep. And remember to acknowledge their efforts and progress. Positive reinforcement is so much more effective than focusing solely on failures.
When to Seek Professional Help for Sleep Problems
Change takes time, so be patient (with yourself and your child) and recognise the small wins. Some tactics will work better than others in your family, so it helps to keep your approach flexible. A good night's sleep can make all the difference to your child, so if you're noticing an ongoing issue with their sleep or you're struggling, reach out for professional support. Counselling can be helpful for your teens, and counselling for parents can help you find strategies and the best ways to support them.
Struggling with your teen's sleep and morning routine? You don’t have to figure it out alone! Implementing these small changes can make a big difference, but support is available if you're still facing challenges.
Book a counselling session today to get personalized strategies for managing your teen’s sleep issues and stress. Together, we can create a calmer, more peaceful home. Ready to take the first step?
Contact me HERE to learn more or schedule a session now!