Parenting Teens: Keeping the Peace During Busy Times
I hear pretty much all year round how busy life often feels, but the stress can feel more pronounced around certain times of the year, such as school term, holidays or family events. As you're trying to manage everyone's expectations (including yours), increased demands on your time can leave you feeling emotionally and physically drained. So, how can you maintain a sense of calm, connection and understanding during these hectic times?
This blog will give you ideas on how to stay connected with your teens, help with general teen stress management, and give tips to overwhelmed parents during those busy times.
Talk about expectations beforehand
before things start getting too hectic. Maintaining expectations is more manageable when everyone knows what's coming up and when. Encourage input from your teenager, letting them express how much they want to participate in activities. That way, you have a good start in understanding where your and their expectations may differ and can take these into account to meet in the middle somewhere. Keeping a sense of flexibility is key - rigid expectations and perfectionism do not help to reduce pressure on anyone.
Recognise signs of stress in your teen
so that when they start to show it, you can address it. You know them best, so you will most likely recognise these signs, such as irritability, withdrawal or changes in behaviour. You don't have to sit them down for a big heart-to-heart; just encouraging a check-in on their feelings is a positive start. Part of your preparation for potentially busy times can be discussing helpful ways to manage stress, such as pausing and taking a couple of deep breaths, moving your body, getting outside or writing your feelings down in a journal.
- Set aside one-to-one time with your teen regularly. This is all about quality time rather than quantity. Don't underestimate the power of a check-in, as the kettle is boiling!
- Practice actively listening to them so that they feel heard and valued. This means listening and acknowledging what they've said without jumping in to fix or offer solutions.
- Recognise the effort they're putting in even when times are stressful. Positive reinforcement works and helps them feel more confident in themselves.
Aim for connection over perfection.
Focusing on quality rather than quantity of time together with short but meaningful interactions goes a long way. You might enjoy watching a favourite show together, taking the dog for a walk or baking a festive cake. And let them have their downtime when needed without making them feel guilty. We all need some alone time, even at the busiest times of the year.
Model self-care; show them what boundaries and self-care look like.
How can they be expected to be kind to themselves and give themselves a break when you never do this for yourself? These busy times of the year can also bring up old memories or feelings, which can be challenging. Make recognising the importance of self-care and looking after yourself part of your family tradition.
Trying to keep on top of day-to-day life is challenging enough, especially when teens are involved, and this can feel even more tricky at busy times of the year. Remind yourself and your kids that it's okay if things don't go exactly to plan or get a little complicated—life gets messy! How you manage these ups and downs counts, and you must approach challenges together.
Keeping up with day-to-day life can be challenging, especially during busy seasons. Remember, it’s okay if things don’t go as planned—life can get messy! How you navigate these ups and downs as a family matters most. Approach challenges together, and remind yourself that progress is more important than perfection. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or concerned about how your teen is coping, reaching out for support can make all the difference. Whether through counselling, a supportive friend, or one of my workshops, small steps can lead to a calmer, more connected family life.
Contact me HERE to learn more about my workshops and single-session therapy options.