Author: jenny.warwick27@gmail.com

It’s not uncommon for a parent to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and unsure, and this doesn’t go away when your child starts to move into adolescence. You face unique challenges: managing mood swings and school pressures, as well as navigating their (and your own) screen time and need for increasing independence. 

Despite this, many parents and carers hesitate to seek support for themselves. But if you’re struggling with communication, worried about your child’s well-being, or simply looking for ways to restore a little calm to your home, counselling can provide the support you need, tailored specifically to your and your family’s needs. 

Counselling for parents gives you a practical, non-judgemental space to talk through your concerns, find new strategies and approaches and rebuild your confidence in your parenting. 

You might consider counselling for a variety of reasons:

• You might feel overwhelmed, stressed or burnt out trying to juggle your family’s needs alongside your own.
• You may be experiencing conflict or struggling to communicate effectively with your teen or pre-teenager.
• You could be worried about your child’s mental health, how they’re managing school pressures or difficulties with friendships.
• If your child is going through a tough time, it’s natural for you to feel the impact, too. Add to this the usual dose of parental guilt and self-doubt, and you can be left feeling pretty hopeless and not sure how to manage. 
• Major life transitions, such as separation, blended families, or loss, can also add to the challenge.

No matter what’s making parenting feel difficult right now, seeking support is a positive step forward.

What Counselling Support for Parents Offers You

• First and foremost, counselling is your time to discuss what’s worrying you and any challenges you face. It might seem a bit of a trope to say it’s a non-judgemental and safe space, but this is fundamentally what counselling is. 
• You’ll leave your sessions with practical tools and techniques for managing difficult situations and improving your communication, which will strengthen your relationships. 
• You’ll find ways to look after yourself by setting appropriate boundaries and managing stress. After all, how can you truly be there for the people who need you when you’re feeling wrung out and thoroughly depleted? 
• It’s important to acknowledge that you’re not alone in finding parenting preteen and teenage kids challenging. Parenting an adolescent can often feel isolating, and there are fewer opportunities to connect with other parents, unlike when your children were small and in primary school. Understanding typical behaviour during this stage helps you recognise common struggles, making the journey easier.

How is Counselling Different from General Parenting Advice?

Why go to a counsellor about parenting when you can find general advice online? While there is a place for researching and potentially finding communities facing similar experiences, counselling for parenting offers something different. It isn’t just about behaviour management, it’s where you can talk about and explore how you’re feeling and explore any underlying issues that might be making this stage extra tricky for you. You get the chance to reflect and gain a new perspective on the areas of parenting you’re finding challenging. The support is tailored and specific to you, your child and your situation instead of one-size-fits-all advice. 

Common Misconceptions About Counselling for Parents

• “Counselling is only for when you’re really struggling” It can also be a proactive way to check in and keep up-to-date.
• “I should be able to handle this on my own” Seeking help is a strength, not a weakness.
• “The focus is only on me.”  While this is your time, it’s also about finding ways to improve the dynamics in your family, not just individual support.

Could Counselling Help You with Your Parenting?

• Are you feeling stuck in a non-stop cycle of frustration and arguments?
• Do you feel constantly worried, stressed and drained physically and emotionally?
• Are you unsure of how to support your child around a specific issue?
• Are you ready for things to feel calmer at home and for connections in your family to be stronger?
• Are you ready and motivated for a positive change?

Then, yes, it sounds like counselling could help you!

Parenting has its ups and downs, and everyone can benefit from some support along the way. Counselling can give you the space, tools and confidence to navigate these challenges, helping you feel more in control and connected with your child. If you’re ready for a positive change, taking that first step towards support could make all the difference.

Seeing your child grow up and move from childhood into adolescence and beyond is a bittersweet experience for most parents and carers. On the one hand, you see them develop into their own person, trying new things, making new friends and navigating the ups and downs of secondary school like a champ. On the other hand, you may feel a pang of nostalgia for the relationship you once had, where they relied on you for everything, from picking out their socks to bandaging a scraped knee when they’ve taken a tumble. Instead of asking for your help, they want to work things out on their own—even if it means making mistakes along the way.

The reality is that letting go of your child as they grow up is challenging, and trying to find the right balance between giving them their independence whilst maintaining that all-important connection is a struggle many parents and carers experience. Gradually letting go and finding increased independence are vital parts of adolescence. Your teenage child needs autonomy if they are to develop confidence, the skills they need to make decisions, and the flexibility to bounce back from life’s ups and downs.

So, why does this shift toward independence happen, and why is it so important?

Why does independence matter?

Your child’s brain is developing extensively throughout their pre- and teenage years (and beyond), and part of this development naturally pushes them towards independence. This shift toward independence is completely natural—it happened to you as a teenager, too! It’s also fairly typical for parents to worry about their child’s safety, particularly when part of their learning how to be good at making decisions involves making some not-so-great decisions. There is also an element of feeling your child is turning away from you at this time, and you feel left out of your teen’s life. However, the benefits of this independence are that their self-confidence increases as they become more skilful at problem-solving, and it also allows them to be more responsible and accountable for their choices and actions.

Making the move from control to guidance

As your child grows and develops, your role as their parent must also change and evolve. Think of it as moving from the role of ‘manager’ to one of a mentor – someone to support and guide them. Rather than feeling like you’re no longer needed because you absolutely are, you can take a step back, showing them your trust. While this shift can take some time, getting used to it is vital – no one likes a micromanager, and excessive control will soon backfire.

How to set boundaries without being controlling

So, trusting your teen is essential for their independence, but how can you do that within safe limits?

• Clear expectations: Structure and routines help everyone. The key is to balance this with flexibility.
• Negotiation skills: Most teens love a debate, so involving them in setting boundaries makes them more likely to stick to them. That said, some rules—especially around safety—should remain non-negotiable.
• Natural consequences: Let them make mistakes and learn from them. How can they work out how to do things better if someone is always jumping in and fixing them? This also goes for consequences set outside of the family unit. For example, if the school rule is that a specific pair of socks must be worn and your child gets into trouble for wearing the wrong ones, let them face the consequences from the school. I talk to many parents stressed about their kids not adhering to school rules about uniforms or make-up. Let them make their choice and then face up to the consequences set by the school. Schools are very good at setting boundaries and consequences, so let them follow through.

Keep connected

Although you’re in the process of letting them go to do their own thing and be their own person, your connection with your child doesn’t have to (nor should it) get weaker. When you are together, make the most of this time. The key is to prioritise quality of time together rather than quantity. Keep it low-pressure; it doesn’t have to be sitting down and having an intense conversation about every little thing. Check in on them when you’re giving them a lift, take the dog for a walk together, or watch a favourite program on television together (one they like watching). They will be spending more time away from you, disappearing into their rooms, and spending more time with their friends, which is part of their growth. Don’t take it personally, but keep lines of communication open.

Looking after Yourself

The best way to show your teen how to be responsible and to be able to look after themself is to recognise how you’re feeling and how your anxiety about parenting might be showing up. Being a parent as your child moves into and through adolescence is hard! But, by cutting yourself some slack and recognising this letting go as a process, you can help make this transition feel (relatively) more manageable. It’s inevitable, so if you can go with it rather than fight against it, things will feel less tense. When your teen makes mistakes, recognise this as part of their growth and show them how to let go of perfectionism by letting go of your perfectionism. Just as there’s no such thing as a perfect teenager, and you wouldn’t want that for your kid, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. Focus more on long-term connection rather than short-term control.  

Remember, letting go is a process – turn your focus on keeping connected with your teenager. They need you just as much as ever; it just doesn’t always look or feel like that. Trust yourself and trust your teen.

Your teen’s growing independence isn’t a sign that they don’t need you—it’s proof that you’ve done your job well.

Struggling with your teen pulling away? You don’t have to navigate this alone. If you’d like support in keeping connection strong while encouraging their independence, I’m here to help. Book a session or explore more resources HERE.

Do you ever wonder how and when your relationship with your child became more … complicated? And will you ever return to the easy, good-natured chats you used to have? It can hurt to feel your adolescent child has closed off communication, and it’s scary to imagine that your child might not come to you when they are in trouble or having a tricky time because communicating simple things has become overwhelmingly fraught and challenging. This isn’t just you! It’s a surprisingly common experience for parents and carers of tweens and teens. Understanding why your teen or nearly teenage child has seemed to close off can help give you insight into what’s happening and find ways to improve your communication and connection.

It’s important to remember that during adolescence, we are seeking autonomy. This desire arises from the developmental changes occurring at this stage; it is a natural part of becoming an adult. Adolescents are working to establish independence, learning to care for themselves and navigate the world independently. For them to find this independence, your teen needs to have their own space, away from you, so they are more likely to close off and become a little more reserved. Adolescents are also more vulnerable emotionally as their feelings become very intense and changeable due to hormonal changes, but they don’t have the ability just yet to be able to articulate how they’re feeling.  

Communication Strategies:

1. Establish a safe space where your teen can share what’s going on without being judged. And the way to establish this is to show them that you can listen to their thoughts and feelings when they share them without judgement.
2. Be present, but don’t push. You may find yourself asking repeatedly, ‘What’s going on?’ ‘Is everything ok?’ but I get nothing back. This is not unusual with teenagers! The key is to be physically and emotionally present so they feel you are there for them without pressuring them to talk. They are much more likely to open up to you.
3. Timing is everything: the best, most honest and open conversations happen during low-pressure activities, like car rides or cooking together. It’s often easier to have these conversations when you are physically side-by-side rather than eye-to-eye across the kitchen bench. Gaming or watching videos together (their choice) is also an excellent option for a chat.
4. Focus on listening rather than solving: While they might want help finding solutions, you must show them that you hear what they say. Listen to them and show an interest in what they’re saying. Think of it as gathering information and being curious rather than having your focus on ‘fixing’. Show them this by validating what they’re letting you know; for example, you could say, ‘That sounds rough’, ‘then what happened?’ or ‘Tell me more about that’.
5. Show them what good communication skills look like by expressing what you’re thinking and feeling clearly and calmly. Be open and honest with them – you don’t have to tell them everything, but if you’ve had a tough day at work and are feeling exhausted, share this with them (keeping in mind point 3 above!).

It can feel like there’s a thin line between being supportive and giving your teen or nearly teenage child some space. They need some privacy – try to respect this. Trust your instincts on this; you know them best of all – do you think they need to talk this through, or do they just need time and space to work through how they’re feeling? If you’re not sure, ask them just this. With time, they will also understand they can contact you for needed support. This ebbs and flows as they move through adolescence, so finding a balance is crucial.

When communication is extra challenging

Parenting is not an exact science. Conversations are not always going to go as planned; in fact, they are more likely to go differently than how you had it planned in your head. It’s like tricky conversations with anyone because humans can be tricky! It’s ok. Think about what worked well and what didn’t, and determine how things can improve next time. The truth is, it’s most often a matter of timing – when you have the conversation.

If you’re finding communication barriers between you and your child persisting and it’s getting in the way of your relationship and impacting how you’re feeling – counselling for parents can help. You can discuss your challenges and strategies to create a calmer, happier home environment. If you need more support, book a session today and start rebuilding communication.

Adolescence is when we become fountains of knowledge, knowing all there is to know about everything. Conflict comes from those (usually our parents and other adults around us) who think they know everything just because they’ve been around longer. Perhaps this is simplifying and making light, but so goes the thought process of many a teen or nearly teenage child. Have you found that your child is becoming more vigorous with their assertions as they move into later primary school age? You are not alone! Welcome to the conflict zone commonly entered when our kids hit their tween and teenage years.

Adolescence is a time of finding independence, pushing boundaries, and practising conflict in a safe, stable environment. The good news is that your child is doing exactly what they should be doing at this age, pushing your every button and constantly being ready for a debate. It also means that you’ve raised them to have their own opinions and thoughts and that they feel comfortable expressing these. The not-so-good news is that this can be, frankly, exhausting. You might find yourself watching what you’re saying to avoid pushback from them and feeling like you’re struggling to express yourself to them, which can start to negatively impact your relationship. Practical tips for de-escalating arguments with teens can make a world of difference here. As adolescence is when your communication needs to be effective, not shut down, what can you do to de-escalate when the conflict and arguments get too much?

Here are some practical tips for de-escalating arguments with teens:

1. Recognise your feelings:

Before you can do anything to turn the volume down a notch, you need to recognise what is happening and how it’s making you (and them) feel: perhaps frustrated, stressed, or fearful. The chances are, if you’re feeling this, your teen is, too, which puts you in a good position to understand what’s happening.

2. Centre Yourself:

Take a moment to take three deep breaths and centre yourself. I’m not telling you to ‘calm down’ – no one feels calmer after being told to calm down! – but do not underestimate the power of pausing and breathing before reacting.

3. Shift Your Mindset:

Think of shifting your mindset from trying to control the situation or ‘winning’ the argument to connecting with what your teen is experiencing and focusing on your relationship to change the dynamic. This is where your empathy comes in. You want to acknowledge that this is important to them.

4. Validate Your Teen’s Feelings:

It’s common for teens to feel misunderstood or, worse, dismissed when expressing their feelings or speaking about something important to them. When anyone feels hurt, misunderstood or rejected, it’s easy to become defensive. Let them know you’ve heard them by validating their feelings; for example, you could say, “I can see how that would be upsetting,” or “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated.” Helping teens feel understood while resolving conflicts can significantly reduce tension.

5. Acknowledge Your Role in the Conflict:

If they’re angry at you or something you’ve done or contributed to, acknowledge your part and, if necessary, apologise. We all make mistakes and slip up – it’s part of being human – how you move on that counts. Let them see you taking responsibility by acknowledging, apologising, and moving on. Effective communication with teens is essential for maintaining trust and connection.

6. Set the Tone for the Conversation

We communicate with much more than just our words; tone of voice and body language make a world of difference and can either escalate or de-escalate a tricky interaction. You may well want to give as good as you get by being equally sarcastic, shouting, or dismissive. As tempting as this may be in the moment, setting the tone of the conversation as calm and respectful means conflict is much more likely to dissipate.

7. Pick the Right Time to Talk:

Timing is everything. The time for a sensible and relaxed discussion about probably sensitive topics is not when emotions are riding high. When stressed (no matter how old we are), making rational choices and finding solutions is almost impossible because our brains are in their fight-or-flight stress response mode. However, as an adult, you are better at regulating your emotions than your adolescent child because of where they’re developmentally and also because you’ve had more time to practice! You can revisit the topic and how it was handled later when things feel more relaxed.

Help your teen find a sense of autonomy when resolving conflicts to work out ways to solve problems collaboratively by actively listening, taking turns to speak, and brainstorming potential solutions together. Let them express their perspective fully and then give them the direct experience of finding a win-win compromise. They’ll be able to learn and, most importantly, practice their conflict-resolution skills in a safe space (with you). Remember that the goal here is to focus on the bigger picture, a positive relationship, and not win a single argument. Show them that it’s okay to move on after a ‘robust’ discussion without holding grudges, and let them know that you love them and want to work this out with them. These strategies to create a calmer, more connected home life can transform your relationship.

De-escalating conflict with your teenager takes patience and practice, but it’s definitely worth the effort. Plus, these tips and strategies work with adults just as well as with young people.

Dealing with conflict during the tween and teen years can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. If you’re ready to create a calmer, more connected relationship with your teenager, I can help. Book a session today to explore tailored strategies and support for your family’s unique needs.

Parenting Teens: Keeping the Peace During Busy Times

I hear pretty much all year round how busy life often feels, but the stress can feel more pronounced around certain times of the year, such as school term, holidays or family events. As you’re trying to manage everyone’s expectations (including yours), increased demands on your time can leave you feeling emotionally and physically drained. So, how can you maintain a sense of calm, connection and understanding during these hectic times?

This blog will give you ideas on how to stay connected with your teens, help with general teen stress management, and give tips to overwhelmed parents during those busy times.

Talk about expectations beforehand

 before things start getting too hectic. Maintaining expectations is more manageable when everyone knows what’s coming up and when. Encourage input from your teenager, letting them express how much they want to participate in activities. That way, you have a good start in understanding where your and their expectations may differ and can take these into account to meet in the middle somewhere. Keeping a sense of flexibility is key – rigid expectations and perfectionism do not help to reduce pressure on anyone.

Recognise signs of stress in your teen

so that when they start to show it, you can address it. You know them best, so you will most likely recognise these signs, such as irritability, withdrawal or changes in behaviour. You don’t have to sit them down for a big heart-to-heart; just encouraging a check-in on their feelings is a positive start. Part of your preparation for potentially busy times can be discussing helpful ways to manage stress, such as pausing and taking a couple of deep breaths, moving your body, getting outside or writing your feelings down in a journal.

• Set aside one-to-one time with your teen regularly. This is all about quality time rather than quantity. Don’t underestimate the power of a check-in, as the kettle is boiling!
• Practice actively listening to them so that they feel heard and valued. This means listening and acknowledging what they’ve said without jumping in to fix or offer solutions.
• Recognise the effort they’re putting in even when times are stressful. Positive reinforcement works and helps them feel more confident in themselves.

Aim for connection over perfection.

Focusing on quality rather than quantity of time together with short but meaningful interactions goes a long way. You might enjoy watching a favourite show together, taking the dog for a walk or baking a festive cake. And let them have their downtime when needed without making them feel guilty. We all need some alone time, even at the busiest times of the year.

Model self-care; show them what boundaries and self-care look like.

How can they be expected to be kind to themselves and give themselves a break when you never do this for yourself? These busy times of the year can also bring up old memories or feelings, which can be challenging. Make recognising the importance of self-care and looking after yourself part of your family tradition.

Trying to keep on top of day-to-day life is challenging enough, especially when teens are involved, and this can feel even more tricky at busy times of the year. Remind yourself and your kids that it’s okay if things don’t go exactly to plan or get a little complicated—life gets messy! How you manage these ups and downs counts, and you must approach challenges together.

Keeping up with day-to-day life can be challenging, especially during busy seasons. Remember, it’s okay if things don’t go as planned—life can get messy! How you navigate these ups and downs as a family matters most. Approach challenges together, and remind yourself that progress is more important than perfection. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or concerned about how your teen is coping, reaching out for support can make all the difference. Whether through counselling, a supportive friend, or one of my workshops, small steps can lead to a calmer, more connected family life.

Contact me HERE to learn more about my workshops and single-session therapy options.

Single-session therapy is a brief, focused approach that addresses your specific concerns or issues within one session. It is intentionally designed to give impactful, practical support in one session rather than needing a longer-term commitment. It gives you the support you need, helping you work out your next step with an issue. A single therapy session can feel slightly different if you’re used to ongoing counselling sessions; it takes a collaborative approach, where you work with your counsellor to find practical strategies to help you manage your situation. You’ll gain clarity over the issue or problem, helping you get moving again when you’re feeling stuck.

How Single Session Therapy Helps Parents of Tweens and Teens

By providing timely, practical support, single-session therapy works really well for parents of tweens and teens when you are facing an immediate challenge like a sudden change in their behaviour that you’re concerned about, a specific and pressing issue at school or more conflict than usual between you.

What to expect in your single session

As with any counselling, this time is focused on you and what you need. Before beginning, your therapist will encourage you to work out the session’s focus and think about and identify your desired outcome for the session. When you’re in the session, you focus on gaining your perspective by listening carefully to your concerns and ensuring you’re understood. One of the key differences you might notice in your session is the focus on a particular goal or aim of the session. You and your counsellor work together to find practical strategies and a plan of action focused on helping you clarify your options and next steps.

Single-session therapy is particularly effective in helping you navigate a specific conflict, handle immediate school concerns, or manage an unexpected change. This makes it a great fit for when you’re looking for quick, practical strategies you can put in place without a longer commitment to counselling. Perhaps you’ve found out your teen is vaping, the school have contacted you regarding their attendance, or they’ve had a spectacular falling out with a friend, and you’re not quite sure how best to handle the situation or to support them through it. Other examples might be managing stress during exam season or handling a sudden drop in motivation.

Examples of Practical Strategies

• Ways to communicate with your teen, particularly when navigating difficult conversations.
• Conflict management and how to de-escalate conflict, whether between you and your teen or conflict they are experiencing elsewhere.
• Understanding adolescent emotions and behaviour helps you respond effectively and build a stronger relationship.
• Practical tools for managing your teen’s screen time or navigating friendship challenges.

Most importantly, it will give you specific ways to look after yourself and balance your needs with your teen’s. You’ll find ways to manage your overwhelm and keep your cool (as much as possible when dealing with teens!). Because working out strategies for your teen is easier when you feel your emotional well-being is supported.

While a single session provides brief and targeted support, it also gives you the tools to handle the challenges that will invariably arise when parenting adolescent children. You can build on this experience to start feeling more confident and resilient in managing the ups and downs of parenting teens.

While single-session therapy is designed to be a standalone intervention, it is not the end of the support. After your session, there’s the option of a brief follow-up to see how you’re doing and if further support would be helpful. You can be reassured that you are not alone and that ongoing help is available, providing a safety net.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, conflicted or unsure about a specific issue that’s come to light around parenting your adolescent child, a single session could be just what you need to gain clarity and confidence. There’s no need to wait until you’re feeling stuck; you can book a single session whenever you need clarity and support.

Ready to tackle parenting challenges with clarity and confidence? Book your single-session therapy today.

Being a teenager is hard! And being the parent of a teen or nearly teenage child is not exactly a walk in the park. You want your teen to blossom and grow into an adult who feels confident in themselves and their abilities, but during their adolescence, your teen’s self-esteem fluctuates. It’s usually influenced by external pressures and internal doubts, neither of which you have any control over.

Why Confidence Matters for Teens

When teens feel confident, they can contribute to class discussions, make and maintain friendships, learn new skills or start new hobbies. By helping them build their self-confidence, you’re also giving them the ability to overcome the difficulties and challenges that are a part of life.

If they are going to find the tools they need to build their confidence and thrive, they need patience, encouragement and understanding to help them flourish.

7 Practical Tips for Building Teen Confidence

Encourage Independence

A large part of adolescence is the transition towards independence. Your teen needs the chance to make their own decisions and the responsibility that comes with it. The way for them to learn this is through experience, both negative and positive. Give your teen the chance to figure out their goals and the steps they need to take to achieve them. Most importantly, let them know that you know they can do this.

Support Rather than Fix

When you solve every little issue or complication for your teen rather than support them in finding solutions, they miss the chance to develop responsibility. They need to be given the autonomy to work things out themselves. This doesn’t mean you step away entirely but that you let them know you are supporting them from a distance and are ready to offer help when and if they ask.

Focus on the Journey, not the Destination

Help your teen focus on perseverance and hard work rather than just the end result. This will not only help them gain confidence in their abilities but also help them build resilience, allowing them to bounce back from setbacks.

Help Them Set Realistic Goals

When your teen sets achievable and measurable goals, they’re more likely to be aligned with their interests and strengths, and it’s easier for them to stay focused on them. It’s important to help them recognise and celebrate the small wins they achieve along the way to reinforce the progress they’re making.

Let Them Take Risks

Encouraging them to step out of their comfort zone by trying new sports or hobbies or expanding their social settings boosts their self-confidence. By taking calculated risks, they get to flex the all-important risk-taking inclination adolescents have, which helps them better handle setbacks and trust themselves and their abilities.

Boost Realistic, Positive Self-Talk

The way we talk to ourselves is powerful. When you notice your teens being critical or overly harsh on themselves, encourage them to shift to a more realistic, positive mindset. With a shift in perspective, it’s easier to see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than personal failings.

Model Confident Behaviour

The most effective way to boost your teen’s self-confidence is to show them what self-confidence looks like. Your teens are watching you to learn how to be an adult. You can show them how to handle challenges by confidently managing the tricky situations you face, emphasising the importance of self-belief, even when things don’t go as planned.

Creating a Supportive Environment for Growth

Of course, when teens feel secure and accepted, they are more likely to feel confident about exploring their identities and interests. As their parent, you play a crucial role in shaping your teen’s confidence. By offering guidance, modelling self-assurance and creating a supportive environment, they will be able to face life’s challenges with resilience and a belief in their own abilities.

Parenting during your child’s adolescence is not always easy and can feel complicated and overwhelming. Seeking professional help, like counselling for parents, can boost your confidence. And when you feel confident in your abilities, you can help your teen feel confident too.

Looking for more strategies to support your teen? Join one of my parenting workshops or book a session today to learn practical, personalised techniques.

Being a parent is both incredibly rewarding and incredibly draining. The feeling of being overwhelmed does not let up once our kids hit their teenage years. In fact, managing the ups and downs of living with an adolescent can often intensify these feelings, leaving you exhausted, stressed and anxious. Tweens and teenagers are unpredictable, emotionally intense and socially complex even on their best days, which can intensify your feelings of stress, leaving you wondering if you’ll ever manage.

We are becoming more aware of the impact of burnout on our working lives (or at least, we are beginning to), but what about the burnout experienced as part of being a parent? It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this. Parenting burnout is a common experience and can affect even the most loving and dedicated parents. By understanding parenting burnout, you can recognise the signs, take proactive steps, regain energy, and create a calmer and more balanced family life.

Signs of Parenting Burnout

When you feel drained, overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted, you may have reduced patience and find yourself losing your temper more easily with those around you. You may also feel detached emotionally. You might notice physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches and trouble sleeping. 

Burnout leaves you overly tense and disconnected, and with a patience and empathy bypass, it impacts you and those around you.

You may feel emotionally detached, as though you’re going through the motions of parenting but without the connection you once had. This makes you feel guilty and frustrated, more drained and exhausted, so it goes around, leaving you wondering if you’ll ever regain your energy or patience.

Why Setting Boundaries with Teens Can Help

First and foremost is recognising the common triggers (what presses your buttons). Adolescence can be a time when communication with your child becomes more difficult, and you notice more conflicts around boundaries, them stretching their independence and the classic teen attitude.

By now, you are probably all too aware of the mood swings, defiance and rebellion that wear you down. The juggle of parenting, balancing your work, household tasks and their social and academic needs. Also, the constant comparison that it’s so easy to fall into, worrying about how other parents or society perceives the way you parent.

How to Prevent and Manage Parenting Burnout

Burnout can affect your mental and physical health and your communication with your child (and others around you), leaving you feeling overwhelmed, guilty or hopeless. You don’t have to manage this on your own. Burnout in parents is a more common experience than you might realise, and it is nothing to feel guilty about. Even small changes can make a big difference in managing and preventing burnout. 

Self-Care Tips for Parents

Be kind to yourself. It is crucial to find ways to recharge yourself through rest, hobbies or being with friends (other grown-ups!). Show yourself some compassion by scheduling breaks and time to do the activities that suit your unique needs.

Learn not to sweat the small stuff. What can you let go of? You don’t expect your kids to be perfect, so why impose perfectionism on yourself? Accept that sometimes stuff happens. 

Recharging Through Mindfulness and Relaxation

Doing this daily can help to reduce stress. Mindfulness helps you stay grounded and present, which can stop stressful thoughts from spiralling. These small acts build up over time and can make a big difference in how you handle parenting challenges.

Don’t feel you have to go it alone.

It’s OK to seek help from your partner, friends, family members or professional help. Seeking support shows strength, not weakness, and counselling can give you the space to talk about your feelings and provide practical strategies to help you manage and prevent burnout. 

The steps you take to manage and prevent burnout will also help those around you. Being open about your feelings encourages your teen to share their frustrations.

Having healthy boundaries between being ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ and personal time shows your teen the importance of balance and boundaries. By delegating tasks and involving them in household responsibilities, you lessen your load whilst helping them build independence and responsibility. This can increase their self-confidence and help them feel more in control of their environment.

Remember to recognise small wins. Focusing on progress, no matter how small, enables you to stay motivated and positive.

Parenting burnout can be isolating, but you are not alone. There are steps you can take to regain your energy and peace of mind. If you are ready to explore practical strategies for managing stress and creating a balanced family life, contact me today. Whether you need support, guidance, or simply someone to listen to, counselling can help.

Parenting your child as they hit their teen years can feel like riding a roller coaster. While wearing a blindfold. You’re never quite sure when you’re going to be faced with arguments, slammed doors and shouting over what feels like the slightest interaction. You may look back just a couple of years ago and remember the easygoing, kind kid and then wonder if you’ll ever be able to salvage your relationship. There’s no doubt that this can be a challenging phase, and you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, in spite of walking on eggshells and having no idea how to respond.

It is possible to rebuild your connection and establish a more calm and peaceful environment. Here are some practical strategies to help you navigate this rocky chapter with your teen.

Why Teenagers Become Aggressive and Rude

First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge the emotional rollercoaster of parenting a teen because adolescence is a turbulent time – for you and your teenager. It is perfectly normal for you to feel frustrated, hurt and confused by difficult teen behaviour.

I realise this can feel like an impossible dream when your kid is yelling in your face, but if you can keep your composure when things get heated, they are much less likely to escalate. This is challenging, and it’s tempting to match their energy, but there are ways you can keep your cool.

I always say that it’s the small steps you take regularly as part of your routine that help you remain calm (or calm enough) when things start to rev up. Also, you can take steps to prepare yourself for those situations you can forecast happening. Forewarned is forearmed, as they say – you know your child better than most and most likely know the situations likely to rile both of you.

Tips for Managing Aggressive Teen Behaviour

Focus on their behaviour rather than their personality: Try not to label your child as bad or difficult, but remember that it’s their behaviour that needs addressing, not them as an individual. It’s easier to diffuse tension and keep resentment in check when you keep this separation clear.

Setting Boundaries: Young people need firm and consistent boundaries that give them room to flex their independence. Overbearing and overcontrolling rules are more likely to lead to pushback. Too much leniency is similarly not helpful – teens need clear boundaries that they can push back on but that are clear.

Don’t take it personally: I realise this one can be difficult when it can feel very personal. Remember that your teen is working through a complex emotional roller coaster as they navigate identity, peer pressure and becoming more independent. Recognise that this inner struggle can manifest as rude or even aggressive behaviour. That’s not to say that you excuse it or ignore it, but understanding where it comes from puts you in a better place to respond accordingly rather than reacting.

Don’t lecture: it just doesn’t work and leaves them and you frustrated. Think about going into a conversation with curiosity and wanting to find out their perspective. They are much more likely to open up when they feel part of a dialogue than if they’re just being lectured or told off. If you can present the issue as something for you to work on and resolve together—’What do you think?’—you’re more likely to gain their cooperation and input.

Pick your battles: If you constantly nag about every little thing, it becomes harder for them to distinguish between big problems that need addressing and smaller ones that can be let go of. It doesn’t mean you can never mention leaving mugs in their bedroom again, but think to yourself, ‘Is this really where I want to be putting my energy, or can I let go of it, just for now?’ When the environment is more peaceful, there is less room for power struggles.

Connection, Connection, Connection: Maintaining a strong emotional bond is what makes all the difference. Find the small ways you can connect with your child, such as a comedy or series you enjoy watching together or those small in-jokes you have.

When to Seek Help for Teen Behavior Issues

If you feel that your relationship with your teen is negative and unmanageable, counselling can help. You are not the only parent or carer experiencing this. Your teen might find therapy helpful; they might not want it just now, but counselling for yourself can be a practical and supportive step you can take to address these issues.